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I am a writer. Writing is the one thing that makes me happiest and I do all kinds of
it from poetry to Journalism--which happens to be my career path. I'm also a big time music nerd who loves Choir and the kind
of music that reaches into your soul--with lyrics that dig even deeper. I've been through more than I'd like to think about,
but one thing I do believe in is that God is up there, trying to get our attention, and planning out our lives in an even
bigger picture than we imagine ourselves. We don't need all the answers right now. We just gotta follow our hearts and we'll
end up in the right place.
I have friends of all kinds. I'm a city girl and a country girl during different parts of the
day. But I still try to be a good friend, aquaintance, girlfriend, Christian, and any other role I am put in.
If you don't like me, I'm not sorry, 'cause the odds are I'm trying to like you.
If you
do like me, then I'm grateful, because I'll never be surprised if the world hates me.
I've been through a lot--more than many people may realize or want to believe. I've been hurt way too many times, but every
ounce of it has taught me something and made me who I am. And when it seemed like I couldn't stop crying, I had to let go
of that one person who didn't care like I once believed, and curled into the laps of God as he told me that everything would
be okay. That's what I try to tell everyone I know: Everything will be okay. I'm a Journalism major, music and writing nerd
primarily, who analyzes things way too much and is too moralistic for the average person to handle. Even still, I'm also someone
who has more love than I thought for a long time could be accepted by everyone.
I love people for reasons that are only my own, and I believe that love isn't about how someone makes you feel as much
as it is about what one does for another. I don't believe in soul mates. I believe in choices, and the choice to stick to
the choices one makes and not turn back. Clearly, I believe in God and his never-ending message. I have a lot of friends who
aren't Christians. All I tell them is that He's the one thing that's kept me from breaking down from my convictions, beliefs,
and my dignity in general.
I don't truly know where my life is going. I just know that I will not be here, and one day I will find myself completely,
and be able to do things that I want to do, without someone I'm committed to trying to change me.
Some people—especially young people—think of life as hanging out and having fun,
letting the time slip away. Apparently, not me. I've enjoyed the more artistic side of life, between writing and obsessing
over music and lyrics. From a young age, I wanted to rock out the music business in some way. I’ve done a flip from
participating in the music program for a career to writing for my school paper, keeping music electives, in hopes of a degree
in Journalism on my path to finding myself.<br>
I don’t drink, smoke, or do drugs. I’m pretty opinionated
about things, and used to get pretty crazy about expressing it. However, I have gotten a lot better because I believe that
no one has a right to judge anyone, and that no one is condemned or a lost cause. You can’t judge a book by its cover,
and you can’t fight fire with fire.<br>
I spend my time working, going to school, then computer, babysitting,
trying to go see the close friends I have that are far away, and seeing and spending time with my boyfriend.<br>
I
write a lot, and I have a website to represent some of it (though not nearly all of it). I’m a computer-raised geek
who is online too much and moderates too many lj and gj communities that never or rarely get traffic flowing (unless I get
committed to post on a regular basis). I’m a freshman in college, and I like it, although I don’t much like where
I’ve grown up (small towns make me unhappy) and want to move away to a city after college, in hopes of finding my creativity,
and myself.<br>
I’m in love with an 18-year-old mess of true love, whom I almost lost completely, and had to
learn how much I wanted to keep him. I also learned a lot of what doing the right thing really means, especially when it comes
to not worrying about pleasing others.<br>
My dream is to live forever. I fear death as it is, but it’s coming,
one of these days. All my life I’ve wanted to be an inspiration…to reach people. God has gifted me with my own
special way with words. I’ve wanted to write and sing and produce public messages and make a mark that stands out. God
gave me a lot of gifts…I just have to figure out how to build onto them and what to do with them.
My name and age are stated...and it's clear that you pretty much know what I look like...but who am I? I'm just a girl. I'm
a girl who's not a kid anymore...but when she was younger...she developed this dream where she wanted to change the world.
As she progressed, she..I...wanted to change the world through fame in music. It would have been nice if it were that simple...and
even nicer if dreams that strong fade. But, when I was 18, I began the role as a music major in a college I said I would never
go to...but...scholarships, you know? I mean...maybe I'm kidding myself through my dreams...but all I know is that when my
world can be music, I'm okay.
Some call my anti-social...I just admit that my social skills sort've suck. Maybe it's the result of hiding for so long.
The truth is though...I'm tired of hiding..and being afraid...and being miserable. But...more than anything...I'm tired of
caring about what other people think. I just want to be me.
I'm not much for explanations and justifications of who I am anymore. Life has thrown me too many curve balls that land in
places that are not of my comfort zone, which has given me experiences of all kinds. I have both a name and a nickname. I'm
in love with someone I can't really have. I'm a singer, a musician, a writer/poet/lyricist/storyteller, a webpage designer,
a computer nerd, an outcast, a friend, and, above all, a Christian, who hates lies and driving, drugs and stereotypes, with
big dreams and insecurities, and so much more.
So much more...
My name is Jessica. I go by Jade online because it's my favorite name in the world and I started using it when I was 12, and
it then it kinda stuck.
I love music, with all of my heart, even though it's the scariest thing on the planet since I was majoring in it. More recently,
I figured out that just because you have a passion for something doesn't mean you have to have a career in it to be happy,
especially when there are other things you may love, and things that come more naturally. So, more recently, I may be a Journalism
major.
I love writing, which has been my best friend on countless occasions. I think I have a talent for it, that has blossomed from
years and years of practice and inspiration, that includes alot of pain, happiness and lessons.
I've got a few problems. I'm insecure alot. My mind has always thrived too much on comparing myself to others and caring about
what other people think. As I'm getting older, I'm learning that it doesn't really matter what others think. Their satisfaction
won't make me accomplish anything in this world...I'm not skinny. But I am pretty. My style choice isn't perfect, but it's
mine, and it's always changing. I really am the only me in this world...and that me is a good thing.
My social skills often suck. I often don't talk...and I'm working on the whole thing where I talk fast or just in a way that
people don't understand. I've recognized that the awkwardness of them having no response is probably them feeling awkward
too because they have no clue what I just said. :P
I met my soul mate when I was 17, and I didn't know it for a long time, even though he was right in front of me. His name
is Dusty and he's younger than I am by about 14 months, but that's fine with me. He's also bi, and that's fine with me to
the point where I'll check out hot guys with him and won't worry a bit. He's my best friend and he makes me happy. I heard
once from a movie that there is love, which you get over in 2 months, there is big love, which you get over in 2 years, and
then there is great love, which changes your life. I was dating someone else when I watched that movie that I loved, but not
greatly. It's true, though. True love changes your life, and gives you a piece of Heaven.
I met my soul sister on the internet, believe it or not, and then a year later in person, and guess what? She wasn't a 65
year old sex offender! She was exactly who she said she was. She's actually one of the most beautiful souls I've ever discovered.
The kind of person who loves you for you, and will sacrifice her own dignity for your own.I met her online before I met Dusty.
Her name is Amanda, and she even younger than me, about 15-16 months younger, and I'm fine with that too. She opened the doors
for me to true love, because I told her that I would adore to find a guy like her, and then Dusty came along...and in his
own little way, he was like her.
I'm a Christian, whatever that means to you, who believes in piercings, religious tattoos, and not having sex until you're
married. I'm a firm believer in God and what is written in the Bible, a book that is a working progress to determine what
it really means in today's world. I believe that strength is in having total faith in such a higher power that you can't see...but
choose to live by...and therefore, can be opened to the many reasons people believe.
I despise alcohol and drugs, which I avoid at all costs, and I also despise cigarettes, which I do avoid when I can. I believe
that these things get you absolutely nowhere in life except to places that are 100% BAD. At the same time, there are people
I love more than anything who do these things and have done them...so don't be fooled...I'm not here to judge or hate, I just
want you to know that I won't be joining you. I've only had a drink once, and there was a reason and a lesson all its own
in that choice--a choice which I don't plan to make again. I've never had a cigarette, and I've never been in contact with
a joint. I've lost friends due to strong opinions. I've been called names as well. I've been rejected and treated differently
because of all of this...and every bit of it was worth it.
I associate with bis, gays, blacks, mexicans, and races, sexualities and people of all kinds. I ask for acceptance, and get
confused on whether or not I recieve it. But it doesn't matter.
I'm never without my cell phone. I talk to friends on the phone more often than I hang out with them. I've been known to be
a loner and an outcast. I own too many purses...and continue to want more. I'm always wearing black eye makeup, including
quite often black eye shadow. I have rings on my fingers that mean something, and piercings in my ears and my nose. I adore
black and dark colors. I like to shop at Hot Topic and Alloy.com. Journeys most often has the coolest purses, although Wal-Mart
used to. I either talk too much or not enough. I never bonded with my brother or my sister. They both don't like me that much,
but I try. I have friends who don't hang out with me anymore, but I still try. I'm usually at home, work, at school or I'm
at Dusty's. I haven't grown up as much as I thought I would by now...or really...just not in the ways I thought I would. I
like candles, the walls in my room are purple, and I love stars and crosses. I'm on the net too much, and I could live on
watching BTVS DVD's over and over. I adore stupid love songs. I adore stupid chick flicks about star-crossed romances. I like
to use my singing voice to project volume to be real because I actually have a singing voice. I only jewelery metal I'll wear
is silver. I like things because they make me happy, call people because it makes me happy, watch shows and movies over and
over that make me happy...because not alot of things can.
My name is Jessica, Jess, Jessi, Jade, I'm 18 years old and I'm from a small town in Southern Illinois.
I'm a freshman at a community college as a music major, getting an associate degree in Music Performance to later transfer
to get a degree in a music-related area that has yet to be decided, considering performing is the only thing I've ever been
sure of other than in writing and making the music I perform. I'm a Christian, whatever that means to you, who believes in
piercings, religious tattoos, and not having sex until you're married. I'm a firm believer in God and what is written in the
Bible, a book that is a working progress to determine what it really means in today's world. I believe that strength is in
having total faith in such a higher power that you can't see...but choose to live by...and therefore, can be opened to the
many reasons people believe.
I'm not completely self-confident, and in fact believe it is a possibility that I
have an eating disorder, which not very many people either believe or care, although it doesn't matter. I'm only thankful
for those who really do believe in me...because they're all I need. I have an unhealthy addiction to ice cream and chocolate,
although that doesn't mean I'm someone who eats it all the time. I place food in a strange place...a comforting and confusing
place. I'm not skinny...nor will I probably ever be, which is comforting that this gives no conflict to Dusty
I
met my soul mate when I was in high school, and his name is Dusty. The actual memory of meeting him was when I was 17 and
dating someone else. He noticed me, but it took me months, a heartbreak, and a leap of faith to open my eyes to what was really
in front of me. It's possible that I am engaged, particularly to someone with issues and little signs of a perfect plan, but
someone who has taught me more about what life is really about than anyone I have ever known.
I'm not good at keeping
friends...but there are some I do keep and try to keep close. I can be the best and worst friend in the world all at once....and
still love you with all I can love you with.
I despise alcohol and drugs, which I avoid at all costs, and I also despise
cigarettes, which I do avoid when I can. I believe that these things get you absolutely nowhere in life except to places that
are 100% BAD. I've never actually had a drink or a cigarette, and I've never been in contact with a joint. I've lost friends
due to strong opinions. I've been called names as well. I've been rejected and treating differently because of all of this...and
every bit of it was worth it.
I associate with bis, gays, blacks, mexicans, and races, sexualities and people of
all kinds. I ask for acceptance, and get confused on whether or not I recieve it. But it doesn't matter.
The only
true goal that I have ever found useful in life is to follow your heart. It'll take you places.
This girl you wanna get to know...
She's afraid of change sometimes..She's not always sure of
who she is..She loves with all her heart, and is only afraid that someone won't love her back..She's not really as insecure
as she says she is...but then again...she is..She loves music and writing with all of her heart..as well as God, who's gotten
her through everything she's ever had to face..She's built walls that need to come down..She tries to trust, but then learns
she rarely trusts anyone completely..She afraid to let things go she's held onto for so long because they feel like they're
a part of her..and maybe, if she lets them go..she lets a part of herself go..She's dramatic..She doesn't give up on people
until they give up on her first..and sometimes then she still has false hope..She's afraid of the future because it is change..change
that she seems she can't control..although she did just get the contentment to apply for the right college..the one she used
to say she'd never go to that only ends up making the most sense..She cries sometimes..She needs a lot..She thought she'd
never have a fairytale come true..She thought high school couldn't ever change..She never knew she'd meet the people she has..She
never knew she'd find a soul sister and a soul mate in a matter of three months..She said she'd never get engaged in high
school..then she did..She thought she knew everything..then when she accepted the fact that she didn't, she learned more..Just
when she chose never to accept anything less than what she needed, no matter how much that is..she found it..She still writes..She
still prays..She gives her heart away..She feels the walls tear down..She thanks God..for everything..because she'd have never
known what it's like to be okay without Him..and as for those gifts he gave her..the people who have made the biggest difference
just by being themselves..those are the people she doesn't know what she'd do without..let alone the person she would be
In high school, I was the shy girl...the weird girl...the punk wannabe...the
Christian...the loser...the girl who was trying to get over her teasing-filled elementary years...the writer, who blossomed
while she was having her heart ripped out before she reached puberty...the music freak...the drifter...the singer...the retired
honor roll student...the band geek...the choir girl...the flag chick...the computer geek...the girl who was never an expert
at anything...the girl who was secretly and not-so-secretly insecure...the girl who was never skinny...the girl very few people
could understand...the girl everyone got along with...the girl who had a life, although not the kind of life most teenagers
think about...the girl who never fit in...the girl who decided to be herself, because the price was worth it...
I guess I don't know exactly where I'm going.
I just know where I've been.
And some idea of
where I wanna end up.
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